I think that things are far more serious with our relationship than I had originally assumed. It's one thing to talk about what you want for the future. I was just prompted to write out a detailed list of what I want for us in the next five years. Detailed as in what engagement ring I would want, the cut, clarity, color, and carat of the diamond (if I want a diamond), my ring size, what metal I want the band to be, simple or gaudy, traditional or modern. While I usually love this sort of detailed planning (OCD and paranoia make for wonderful lists, calendars, etc.), this is freaking me out. I'm not ready to be engaged. Hell, I'm not ready to graduate!
It's one thing to say that we'll be together forever, but it's completely different ballgame when there are steps towards that goal. I'm not commitment phobic. I want a house, and kids, dogs of varying sizes and breeds, and a marriage that lasts until one of us bites it. I'm just not sure of how fast I want all of this to happen. I want a career. I want to be able to take care of myself if and when I need to. I want to be an employee of the Department of the Interior and have one of those really flashy business cards with the NPS arrowhead on it. That's gonna take some time, more than expected really. I'm just hoping that if I get a ring within the next year, it'll be a very long engagement.
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