Operation TryNotToFail

I'm admittedly terribly pessimistic about most life, but I'm not to the point where I can't see the good in anything. After being knocked down and rejected so many times in the past 3 months, I'm just tired. Maybe it's me. Maybe. In any case, I've got to put my all towards changing things.


So today is day one of my experiment. I'm trying to see if changing my attitudes about spending, confrontation, and optimism will lead to some good. I'm gonna go to the gym at least 3 times a week. I'm going to make the effort to read at least an hour a day. I'm changing what and way I approach food. I'm going to call my parents more, and keep in contact with my siblings and far away friends. I'm going to put on a happy face (this will definitely be the hardest to do). I'm going to do it, and I'm going to use this blog to track it.

I AM EXCITE!

(not a typo, btw)

So I may have just gotten my first order on my brand spanking new Etsy shop. I think. It was at least an inquiry, which is more than I've gotten in weeks. I hope this turns out to be the first of many new visitors to my shop. I need the money, and I need the experience so that I can get better.

I've got to start on Sunshine Bear's birthday cake. At first he asked for something nearly impossible for me to make without weeks of planning. I'm glad he settled on the Katamari cake. I think I can do that within the time constraints given. We'll just have to see.

Rings and Things

I think that things are far more serious with our relationship than I had originally assumed. It's one thing to talk about what you want for the future. I was just prompted to write out a detailed list of what I want for us in the next five years. Detailed as in what engagement ring I would want, the cut, clarity, color, and carat of the diamond (if I want a diamond), my ring size, what metal I want the band to be, simple or gaudy, traditional or modern. While I usually love this sort of detailed planning (OCD and paranoia make for wonderful lists, calendars, etc.), this is freaking me out. I'm not ready to be engaged. Hell, I'm not ready to graduate!

It's one thing to say that we'll be together forever, but it's completely different ballgame when there are steps towards that goal. I'm not commitment phobic. I want a house, and kids, dogs of varying sizes and breeds, and a marriage that lasts until one of us bites it. I'm just not sure of how fast I want all of this to happen. I want a career. I want to be able to take care of myself if and when I need to. I want to be an employee of the Department of the Interior and have one of those really flashy business cards with the NPS arrowhead on it. That's gonna take some time, more than expected really. I'm just hoping that if I get a ring within the next year, it'll be a very long engagement.