I finally caved, and I'm letting my hair grow out of the relaxer. I needed a change, and it feels like a good one. So much is happening right now, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can handle it. I can take all of this pain and misfortune and use it fuel my inner fire. I'm tired of sitting around and moping, and now I have the energy to keep my head above water. The next month is going to be tough, but I'll be damned if I let life kick me in the throat without a fight.
It's on, and I'm not planning on losing. I'm about to make my life my bitch.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
The Grand Experiment
You know I keep saying that I should blog more or that I will blog more?
Obviously I've failed at that. I'm not going to say it anymore because it makes me sounds like a huge liar. I'm not; I just have a problem remembering my login info. I also have a problem with finishing entries. I am a lame blogger and very casual one at that. I've gotten into the terrible habit of sharing to much on Twitter. I hope that by convincing myself to vomit on here, I will save myself some embarrassment. Probably not, but trying can't hurt.
I'm starting a new experimental bipolar drug soon. I have to wait two weeks for my old stuff to clear out of my system, and I can feel that I'm in a pretty manic state. I don't sleep too much; I've even failed at napping properly. I'm always up and doing something, like the batch of Yoda cookies that I made at ass crack of dawn this morning. Hopefully I don't bottom out before I start the experiment, and I've made sure to try to enlist others to help me keep track of my mood and behavior.
I like manic me. Most people that have bipolar II don't mind the manic state because it's a hell of a lot better than the depressive one. I'd rather feel like I'm coked up 24/7, 365 than spend a day in the lowest depths of my depression.
Today* has been pretty interesting. I witnessed an epic battle of man vs. squirrel this morning. Squirrel won, but man put a pretty good fight. I also joined a meditation class. It starts tomorrow, though their flyer says otherwise. I've joined a book club on Goodreads through Oh No They Didn't, and I've started A Game of Thrones, something I've wanted to read for a while. I had lunch with a hobo and had a really good talk with him. I'm feeling great, different even. I'll have to see where things go from here.
*I logged in this morning and realized that I never published this, so here it is.
Obviously I've failed at that. I'm not going to say it anymore because it makes me sounds like a huge liar. I'm not; I just have a problem remembering my login info. I also have a problem with finishing entries. I am a lame blogger and very casual one at that. I've gotten into the terrible habit of sharing to much on Twitter. I hope that by convincing myself to vomit on here, I will save myself some embarrassment. Probably not, but trying can't hurt.
I'm starting a new experimental bipolar drug soon. I have to wait two weeks for my old stuff to clear out of my system, and I can feel that I'm in a pretty manic state. I don't sleep too much; I've even failed at napping properly. I'm always up and doing something, like the batch of Yoda cookies that I made at ass crack of dawn this morning. Hopefully I don't bottom out before I start the experiment, and I've made sure to try to enlist others to help me keep track of my mood and behavior.
I like manic me. Most people that have bipolar II don't mind the manic state because it's a hell of a lot better than the depressive one. I'd rather feel like I'm coked up 24/7, 365 than spend a day in the lowest depths of my depression.
Today* has been pretty interesting. I witnessed an epic battle of man vs. squirrel this morning. Squirrel won, but man put a pretty good fight. I also joined a meditation class. It starts tomorrow, though their flyer says otherwise. I've joined a book club on Goodreads through Oh No They Didn't, and I've started A Game of Thrones, something I've wanted to read for a while. I had lunch with a hobo and had a really good talk with him. I'm feeling great, different even. I'll have to see where things go from here.
*I logged in this morning and realized that I never published this, so here it is.
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